Category Archives: Personal development

Giving up was not an option

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I am writing this to remind myself…

There was a point in my health journey where I had not only lost my health but also my savings and my livelihood. It was about 8 months in that my savings was gone, my successful career was gone and all of my credit cards were maxed out from basic living and medical bills. This was probably the most stressful time in my life.

But something kept pulling me forward. The pull was my purpose. My purpose this lifetime has always been to create art that had a positive, transformational impact. Writing, which is part of that purpose came later. I write from the same place as I paint.

This is to say that when I was at my lowest lows, I still could paint and I still could write and those two things pulled me through. I could also see there would be a time when I could fully live my purpose again. That what I was going through had meaning in this purpose and I wasn’t intended to die from it.

And so I painted…and I wrote…32 paintings focused on the heart and several other paintings. I wrote and illustrated a children’s book. I wrote Resilient Heart a book all about heart health and my journey. I wrote Resilient Heart Art, the healing power of art. I built an Etsy site and two new websites for my art and writing. I created a festival for artists and writers to combine my to loves. All while I was sick. Those things pulled me through my illness and kept me focused on my purpose.

I was grateful for each positive step forward no matter how small.

So now getting 4 shows for my art in 3 days tells me my focus paid off. Getting the feed back from curators that they are touched by my art means a lot. It shows me I have built momentum. I am in a place of joy because my physical crisis is finally over and I am in the flow of the vision I held for the past 3 years.

I am sharing this not to brag but to give someone, somewhere hope. No matter what happens hold on to your dream. Let it lift you up and maybe out of where you are right now.

Today I thank myself for not giving up.

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Filed under health and wellness, heart Health, Personal development, Resilient Heart

A Time to Incubate

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I believe there are times where it is important to share our stories authentically as ther unfold. It can be healing for the teller and the listener. You will know when that time is.

And other times when it is time to incubate and hold the new story tenderly. We don’t want outside influences when we are nurturing a new story.

For now, as I write my new story, I hold it in sacred space within my heart, as its midwife💚…while it incubates ❤️

I am at the end of the bridge between the old story and the new story just about to step into the new. The sacred space of new beginnings.

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, new beginnings, Personal development, Stories

Is There a Problem with Public Inquiry on Facebook.

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On Thursday I made this post on my Facebook page,

“I am questioning my choice to be authentic on social media and in my writing. Does it really matter, does it really have value, does it make a difference, does it just create distance and misunderstanding, does it just create a reason for people to judge, is it worth me being uncomfortable and courageous because it might help someone or is it best to keep my true experiences to myself?

Until I figure that out, this will be my last post for a while.

For clarity, this post isn’t about me want approval for anything. It is me questioning if there is value to being authentic in this medium and in my writing, which I put a lot of time and effort into,in hopes of inspiring and encouraging.

It has nothing to do with being authentic in my life in general.”

Here is my conclusion…so far…

I have chosen to be very open about the process I have been going through the last three years. I believed that if I could be vulnerable and authentic and share the good, bad an ugly it would be helpful to people to see that we can move through something traumatic and have a positive outcome. This took courage on my part. 

In retrospect I think I was wrong in thinking it would be helpful. 

Here is why…

It is messy when we are shifting consciousness. It looks like we don’t know what we are doing. It looks like we aren’t very evolved. It looks like we don’t understand. We look foolish and it looks like we need help. 

The truth is, true healing comes from going through the process and coming out of the mess transformed. We learn through our own discovery and through our inner process of finding the answer that is right for us. 

This public vulnerability, unfortunately, opens the field for others to want to fix you, help you feel better, give you advice, share techniques and solutions that might shift you, judge you, (which by the way can be felt in the field if you are sensitive) and whatever else people do when they feel uncomfortable. All of that is human nature. 

None of those things is helpful to any of us when we are in that space. I think what we are asking in sharing in a vulnerable way is a compassionate witness. We want to know that people are behind us as we move through a difficult experience. That by itself can help you keep going. None of us is doing our own process wrong. It’s all perfect. 

As we are shifting into a new frequency on the planet we are all learning a new language, new behaviors and new ways of interacting with the field. The ways that use to work, don’t work any more but it is what we know.  We are all on a learning curve and NO ONE is making the shift perfectly or gracefully. I know I am not. 

And so what I have learned is this kind of personal, vulnerable inquiry is better done in my blog, where things are in one place, and where there is cohesion, so if someone desired they could follow the thread to see how I got from A to Z. The problem with FB is you might see A, H and Q in not know the rest of the story. 

That’s what I know so far.

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, Just thoughts, Personal development

Illness as an Initiation

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In my experience, if you do the deep personal work that is revealed to you through serious illness you will discover something amazing within yourself.

You will discover your magnificence, your strength and tenacity and your love and commitment to yourself and your connection to the divine.

Illness is an initiation.

Many of us have important moments of transition in our lives, which we experience in our bodies, that can be understood as initiations into a new way of being. They are gateways in to a more authentic expression of self.

Each of these initiations holds powerful information and the possibility of transforming long held patterns that no longer serve us if you allow the sacred journey to unfold. If we are open and allow it to happen.

It is not for the faint of heart ❤️

I believe this type of initiation is a soul contact. It is not, as the New Age movement would have you believe, something created due to out of balance thinking. Believing that we created something with our thoughts, creates shame and leads us away from true self discovery. It causes us to bypass pain so we don’t have to feel it and cheats us out of self discovery.

I am in awe of myself for allowing my initiation to unfold. I am proud for not giving up on myself and for having the strength to keep going even when it took everything I had to do so. I am grateful that I was willing to dive deep, past any limiting beliefs systems, past fear, past the lost of important friends in my life, past any feelings of brokenness, past disappointment and frustration to discover the gems of my authentic self.

I have nothing but the upmost love and respect for any of my friends who have experienced this kind of initiation, are experiencing it right now or going through it with a partner.

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Filed under Empowered Health and Wellness, health and wellness, Personal development

Instant Manifestation

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A curious thing happened to me last night that got me thinking about manifestation.I have had similar experiences before.

When I was getting ready to go to sleep I was listening to music. My phone kept sending me messages that people where liking things on my Etsy site. I thought , “Yay, I am getting momentum!” A couple more notifications came and I actually said out loud to my cats, “Wouldn’t it be fun to hear a ‘Cha ching’”, the sound you hear when someone makes a purchase. It was a matter of seconds and I hear “ChaChing!” Someone had made a purchase.

It got me curious. My sense of playfulness and lack of attachment caused the instant manifestation. How could I make it that easy with the other things that I want to manifest. Ah, to be in that place of the child, where life is a playground, where I am just a curious, playful kid exploring, with no attachments and things that I want just pop into my reality.

I think these small manifestations show us that we can manifest the bigger things if we get into that same space. That is what alignment is, right?

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Filed under law of attraction, Personal development