“As most of you know, psyche is the Greek word for soul. It’s also the Greek word for butterfly. If you have a protagonist in a story whose name is Psyche, you might expect that she will go through a major transition and crisis. Will she survive it? Will she come through and be transformed, or will she die? That’s one way of looking at the Psyche myth.”
I painted the image at the top in November 2015 in Ibiza, Spain. What I knew at the time was it was a painting of Psyche floating on the River Styx. What I didn’t know was it was an announcement to me that I was about to begin an initiation that would last almost 4 years! I was about to enter the underworld. In the painting she is going towards something in the past.
Four months later I had the first in a series of heart attacks that lead to open heart surgery.
Just like Psyche I would be faced with challenges, I would be fearful and I would find the resources and helpers to get through each challenge.
The image below taken in another boat. Part of my spiritual lineage is Egyptian. What I know about this painting is that the heart is healed and it is in a boat moving forward in life. It was painted on an eclipse where the masculine and feminine energy is in balance. Much of my initiation and healing has been about balancing the inner masculine and feminine.
This is a much deeper story but my intention here is to show the before and after paintings. I can always trust the vision in my art. It is predictive.m
I am writing this to remind myself…
There was a point in my health journey where I had not only lost my health but also my savings and my livelihood. It was about 8 months in that my savings was gone, my successful career was gone and all of my credit cards were maxed out from basic living and medical bills. This was probably the most stressful time in my life.
But something kept pulling me forward. The pull was my purpose. My purpose this lifetime has always been to create art that had a positive, transformational impact. Writing, which is part of that purpose came later. I write from the same place as I paint.
This is to say that when I was at my lowest lows, I still could paint and I still could write and those two things pulled me through. I could also see there would be a time when I could fully live my purpose again. That what I was going through had meaning in this purpose and I wasn’t intended to die from it.
And so I painted…and I wrote…32 paintings focused on the heart and several other paintings. I wrote and illustrated a children’s book. I wrote Resilient Heart a book all about heart health and my journey. I wrote Resilient Heart Art, the healing power of art. I built an Etsy site and two new websites for my art and writing. I created a festival for artists and writers to combine my to loves. All while I was sick. Those things pulled me through my illness and kept me focused on my purpose.
I was grateful for each positive step forward no matter how small.
So now getting 4 shows for my art in 3 days tells me my focus paid off. Getting the feed back from curators that they are touched by my art means a lot. It shows me I have built momentum. I am in a place of joy because my physical crisis is finally over and I am in the flow of the vision I held for the past 3 years.
I am sharing this not to brag but to give someone, somewhere hope. No matter what happens hold on to your dream. Let it lift you up and maybe out of where you are right now.
Today I thank myself for not giving up.