Yesterday I Lost My Mind

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Yesterday I lost my mind!

I dropped from my mind into my heart and my heart started to speak about a key issue I have worked on/with for a big part of my life. You know that one that is slippery, yet insidious, that you can’t quite understand? That one that sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

As I wrote in my journal, I watched it unravel, before my eyes, in a way I had never seen before. It because crystal clear so I could see it. I could feel it release from my cells this time and I felt a lightness I had never felt before.

I understood that there is both a collective program/matrix and a personal program/matrix that hold each other in place. It takes deep, deep inner work to extract yourself because these programs reinforce each other so it’s hard to see. I am grateful for my tenacious persistence to do the deep work to free myself. Many people never get free.

I thank my heart for all it has shown me ❤️

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, heart Health, Just thoughts, Personal development

Don’t Give Up!

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Do you ever feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, quitting?
I have, many times.
Especially when it feels like I have made a little progress and I keep get thrown curve balls. Who wouldn’t want to quit!!!

What stops me?

I have always had what some might call a Pollyanna attitude that something good is just around the corner and I don’t want to miss it by giving up too soon.

And something always comes to shift me. It could be something small but it is just enough to make me believe in life again.

I also use my challenges to evolve so that motivates me to find the treasure and move on.

Being human isn’t always easy on one hand and on the other it can be magical.

What keeps you going during challenging times?

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, health and wellness

And Then There is The Debt!

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After surviving and recovering from 5 heart attacks and open heart surgery, comes rebuilding your life. In the midst of rebuilding I had the fifth heart attack. It was stress induced during a traumatic experience, but I was already stressed out due to the debt created by being ill for so long.

Rebuilding your life takes time and monthly bills don’t stop. I understand the concept of barely keeping your head above water. I have been blessed through these three years to have a lot of help from friends so I didn’t fall completely behind. But I am still behind.

I am an artist and an author and also an entrepreneur and have put a number of avenues in place that can provide me with income but they don’t attract customers over night. There is foundational work that has to be done as well as finding the best outlets for marketing so you can attract buyers to your products.  So at this point a little money trickles in and it is unpredictable. It is frustratingly slow.

Every month I reach the middle of the month and begin to worry about how to pay the upcoming bills. This is stress that someone who has survived a life threatening illness shouldn’t have to face, but it happens to millions of people.  The struggle is real and embarrassing!

I had to live on credit cards while I was sick to pay for alternative healing modalities, Naturopathic care and basic living. I maxed out five credit cards. Before I got sick I had 0 credit card debt and lived on cash for 8 years so this was something I didn’t want to do. It was my only option.

Paying credit card bills was the first thing to go. I didn’t have money for basic needs so I couldn’t pay the credit cards. It wasn’t my intention not to pay them.  I get numerous robo calls a day from these creditors. This compounds the stress.

I write this because this is the reality for most people who have faced serious illnesses. It’s a real struggle and it takes a long time for it to shift. I have a lot of compassion for those who are in this situation and I know how they are feeling. It is scary, embarrassing, frustrating and anxiety producing to not be able to pay your bills.

Today I had the Sheriff at my door and I was served with papers. American Express is suing me for $4469.35. I have 20 days to respond. Of course I don’t have that kind of money laying around.

Tomorrow I call an attorney…and hope for the best outcome.

It is easy to jump into the future and think about worse case scenarios, which is what I did at first. That isn’t going to help my situation. I am just focusing on the minutes in front of me.

 

 

 

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Filed under heart Health, Just thoughts, new beginnings

A New Model for Business

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Women don’t need to be BAD @SS to be successful in life, whether in relationships, love or business.

We are running the Divine Feminine Energy, which is magnetic for success.

This is my True nature…

This is one of the biggest reasons I chose the new business I chose.

This company is BIRTHING a new model for business that is EXPANSIVE like the feminine, yet it is grounded like the masculine.

Like the feminine it is EVER CHANGING with the times, yet stable like the masculine.

Like the feminine, the corporate team is OPEN, RECEPTIVE and LISTENING to the field, yet focused and following a plan like the masculine.

Like the feminine, product development is CREATIVE AND INNOVATIVE, yet strategic like the masculine.

Like the feminine the comp plan is GENEROUS, and because the corporate team is a balance of masculine and feminine it feels like home to women and men alike.

This is the direction companies that are current need to move. The balance of masculine and feminine will change the world.

I said yes because I support the balance of masculine and feminine.

 

https://www.bydzyne.com/empoweredhealth

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Filed under Conscious Network Marketing, Feminine Business Model, Women in Business

Between Uncertainty and Possibilities

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This is where I am, in the uncertainty and unlimited possibilities. Some days I can see the possibilities and other days I just see what’s holding me back.

I am rebuilding at a time in my life when I wasn’t expecting to rebuild. Having my life disrupted for three years with my health was a big challenge, especially for someone who was always healthy, always on the go, always creating.

I have recreated myself and now am recreating my life. It’s exciting and sometimes challenging. Maintaining peace and trust isn’t always easy. Sometimes I don’t feel peace and feel fear.

Having another heart event 5 weeks ago sucked. I am still recovering. Some days I feel great and others days I don’t. I look healthy but my body is still healing.

I have so many things I want to create and have to remember that if my body says it needs to rest, I have to honor that and not try to push through like I use to. Sometimes I feel the pressure to do when I don’t want to do anything. I let it go because I trust the perfection of my path.

It is hard for someone who hasn’t had the experience to understand what it’s like to have your life disrupted for three years because of health.
It disrupts you on all levels. Not only has your body changed but the way you think and feel changes too.  I believe that most people who have been challenged by a life threatening illness have PTSD. You wonder if you will ever get better and when the next issue is going to pop up, and if that pain you are feeling is serious or not.
Most people also experience financial trauma. Yes it is traumatic when you lose your source of income, drain your savings and max out all your credit cards and still have bills to pay every month.  This shouldn’t happen to someone who should be focusing on healing.  I know a lot of people going through this right now and when they publicly have to ask for help it’s embarrassing. It’s the last thing they want to have to do. Talk about stress!
The medical system in the US needs to be Rebuilt. It is in the dark ages when it comes to holistic health. The only way to truly heal is holistically and if we want to give ourselves the best health care we have to look outside of the system and pay for it ourselves.
I am committed to being a bridge between the medical system and the holistic health community through my work.

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Filed under Empowered Health and Wellness, health and wellness, heart Health, new beginnings