Category Archives: Just thoughts

What are we doing here?


Have you ever asked the question, “WHY AM I HERE?”

I ask it all of the time.

We weren’t created to spend 50 years, working 40 hours a week, to build someone else’s dream.  That is 104,000 hours!!  Holy crap!  Who planted this seed that we have to spend most of our lives working so we can retire and 65-70, leaving little time to find out what brings you joy?  How did it become the social norm?  Work to retire so we can do the things we love?  Many people drop dead from exhaustion before they even been to do the things they love after they retire.  My dad lived a year.

That is insane!!

The truth is, we are were created to be creative!  To be artists, writers, dancers, musicians, singers, chefs and lovers.  We are hear to create, dream, imagine and have fun and live in joy.  We weren’t created to slave, suffer, feel frustration, experience lack and be miserable!  We are here to co-create with each other and build a better world.  We are here to shift the paradigm that says we need to work 104,000 hours to make money to buy things.  We don’t need “All of the things that money can buy”!

We need each other.  We are here be authentic and shine our light in the world.

We are here to love and be loved.  To be kind, compassionate and peaceful.

If you do what you love and live an authentic life, you will be supported in all ways possible.


We are each a miracle with something unique to add to the world.  Life is a miracle.  

What brings you passion?  What brings you joy?  If you don’t know, it is time to go out and find it!


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After a Long Challenging Relationship I am calling it Quits!



Yes, you read that right…I am ending the long challenging relationship that started way back when…

I took the damn thing and threw it in the garbage on garbage day so that I couldn’t go back out and retrieve it.  After all, I had a long term addictive relationship and it was hard to end it.  Trust me!

It was time to toss the bathroom scale out of my life!!!

I had a perfect photo of the “throwing the scale in the garbage” ritual, but when I sent them to myself via email, they disappeared so let’s use this as a visual:


I don’t even remember when I bought my first bathroom scale.  What I do remember was being told I was fat when I was a thin teenager.  I heard it a lot and it was probably what lead to my thinking I needed a scale in the first place…

After being told recently by one of my close friends that I was fat and filled with toxins and candida, I become obsessed with the scale and my weight.  What she thought was a helpful comment, was not helpful at all.  Friends to support each other by telling them they are fat!  Especially women, who are already obsessed with their weight.  First of all I am about 10 pounds over weight.  After hearing her “helpful”comment, I put on 100 pounds in my mind.  I lost a realistic image of myself and turned obese in my mind.  This is what happens to women who have eating disorders.  I don’t have an eating disorder by my image of myself was inaccurate.  I couldn’t look at photos of myself without seeing that extra 100 pounds!!

Every time I got on the scale I would say the number I saw on the scale in my mind.  Guess what happens when you do that?  You maintain that number.  If you say “I am ____pounds and I am fat” guess what happens?  YOU GET FAT!  This is how many women who want to lose weight, end up maintaining what they way and gaining weight.  It’s the Law of Attraction.  What we think about we become.  Thinking about your weight, what the number is and what you should and should not eat is insane!!  This is the birth of an eating disorder.

We are programming ourselves, ladies, and it is not getting us where we want to go.

The helpful bathroom scale HAS become your enemy!

Two days ago I threw the enemy our of my house for good! I didn’t even say “good bye”.  At first I was afraid I would gain 100 pounds over night because I wasn’t keeping check on that number on the scale.   That last two days I compulsively went to the bathroom to weigh myself only to find that I have no scale.

The day I threw my scale in the garbage I came up with a number of what I want to weigh.  Now I say the affirmation “I weigh___pounds no matter what I eat.”  And the beauty is, there is no way for me to prove that I am wrong because my friend the scale is gone!!

I am not a number on a scale.  I am not my 10 extra pounds.  I am not what I look like.  I am not my age.  We are short changing ourselves when we think like that.



I started wondering how women became obsessed with our weight and how we looked.  I don’t remember the obsession when I was a kid.  Twiggy came to my mind so I did some research.  Some of you might not know who Twiggy is so here is a photo.


“Twiggy’s popularity not only influenced many people to try and imitate her look, but also drastically influenced the rise in power of models in the fashion industry. She was a role model and revolutionary for today’s top models, but her popularity also brought along with it the irrational image of the ideal woman. Twiggy was a major trendsetter in America during the sixties, even though she hailed from England. In the sixties, the thought of a model taking advantage of her success to start a fruitful business was completely revolutionary. ””

Twiggy’s revolutionary impact on body image

The youngest of three girls, she was born Lesley Hornby in north London’s Neasden to a carpenter dad and a factory worker mom who worked a Woolworth’s counter to earn extra money. At 5-feet, 6 inches – short for a model – Twiggy weighed only 91 pounds when she exploded into the culture.

Weighing only ninety pounds and standing at five feet, six and a half inches, Twiggy was an incredibly thin, bony girl, making her perfect for this new trend in modeling. Twiggy’s BMI was astonishingly low at only 14.3. The lowest healthy BMI is 18.5, so her low weight may have been a danger to her health depending on her eating habits (“Healthy Weight”). This is a drastic change from the healthy image of an hourglass shape Marilyn Monroe conveyed during the ‘50s.

The ‘60s was the decade in which runway modeling became very important to high fashion. The models of this decade were much less womanly with their boy-like figures than models of the previous decade who had shapely curves, and these new models’ bodies were bony and hanger-like (“The Rise and Fall”). In addition to the growing importance of runway modeling, the ‘60s was also a period in which American society pushed back against traditional values of the previous decade. The counterculture of the ‘60s was characterized by “long hair, rock music…tye-dye, free sex, drugs, and riots” (“The Counterculture”). Twiggy’s striking and unusual look brought her popularity in this counterculture.   Article

So Marilyn Monroe was the original idea of beauty and that perception has undergone many changes from the original curvaceous figure of figure which was popular on television in the 50’s to Twiggy’s nearly emaciated figure of the 60’s.  Twiggy’s thin figure, popularized as runway modeling became more common, and a more sexualized, yet still thin, body type became even more popular with the increase in Farrah Fawcett’s popularity.   The image went from a healthy curvy body like Marilyn Monroe to a rail thin body like Twiggy’s over night.   The Twiggy body stuck and is still the idea today if you look at fashion magazines and models.

So when Twiggy blasted on to the scene and became so popular I wanted to be just like her!!

The trouble was, she was 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighed 91 pounds and she was the standard for beauty.  I was 5 feet 4 inches and weighed 120 pounds so according to the standard, I was FAT!!!  And if one was fat, they were not considered beautiful!

And that my friends is where my obsession with weight, eating and trying to be beautiful began…

So what I did 2 days ago when I ended my relationship and threw away my scale was an act of bravery!

If you can relate to any of this I would love to add your comments to the dialog below.  Thanks for reading.

Here is another great article Chubby, Skinny, Accepting

The author, Katelyn Mariah is a visionary artist, author, conscious entrepreneur and alchemist.  Learn more at

Find her books at www,


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