I am writing this to remind myself…
There was a point in my health journey where I had not only lost my health but also my savings and my livelihood. It was about 8 months in that my savings was gone, my successful career was gone and all of my credit cards were maxed out from basic living and medical bills. This was probably the most stressful time in my life.
But something kept pulling me forward. The pull was my purpose. My purpose this lifetime has always been to create art that had a positive, transformational impact. Writing, which is part of that purpose came later. I write from the same place as I paint.
This is to say that when I was at my lowest lows, I still could paint and I still could write and those two things pulled me through. I could also see there would be a time when I could fully live my purpose again. That what I was going through had meaning in this purpose and I wasn’t intended to die from it.
And so I painted…and I wrote…32 paintings focused on the heart and several other paintings. I wrote and illustrated a children’s book. I wrote Resilient Heart a book all about heart health and my journey. I wrote Resilient Heart Art, the healing power of art. I built an Etsy site and two new websites for my art and writing. I created a festival for artists and writers to combine my to loves. All while I was sick. Those things pulled me through my illness and kept me focused on my purpose.
I was grateful for each positive step forward no matter how small.
So now getting 4 shows for my art in 3 days tells me my focus paid off. Getting the feed back from curators that they are touched by my art means a lot. It shows me I have built momentum. I am in a place of joy because my physical crisis is finally over and I am in the flow of the vision I held for the past 3 years.
I am sharing this not to brag but to give someone, somewhere hope. No matter what happens hold on to your dream. Let it lift you up and maybe out of where you are right now.
Today I thank myself for not giving up.
This piece is from the introduction to Resilient Heart, and it is directed toward women, though it certainly can be true for men too.
“I believe that the real metaphor in heart disease is that many of us are walking around with broken hearts. I know I was and I didn’t even realize it because it was an issue I had worked on for years. I thought I had done the work.
As women, we have had many reasons to suffer broken hearts. We have only just begun to get equal rights with men. We have been paid less, devalued, considered second class citizens and have been held back in all kinds of ways. It’s in our DNA. I also imagine that most women reading this book have had failed relationships, because our generations have been the guinea pigs for creating a new relationship model that was different than our parents and we have struggled to get it right.
Many of us have had our hearts broken and haven’t had time to grieve because we were left as single parents trying to survive and provide for our children. Who had time to mend a broken heart? I didn’t! I was in survival mode for 14 years and couldn’t think about myself. During those 14 years I had other relationships that ended up breaking my heart to compound the issue.
It is time for us to realize that we are the very essence of the Divine, that we are beautiful, have great value,are bright, creative and we are not going to be held back. It’s time to mend our broken hearts and stop this epidemic of heart disease. It is my hope that by reading this book you are inspired to take the steps to heal your heart before you have a heart attack. Women no longer need to be statistics of any kind. “
From the Resilient Heart Art book
“What if every illness had an angel assigned to it and we could call on that angel to help us return to perfect health? Why not? Most of us love angels, no matter what religion or spiritual path we follow. I feel a sense of peace when I see pictures of angels. I love the idea that there might be an angel for every illness and feel it is worth taking time to explore.
So, let’s say there is an angel assigned to heart disease. It is the same angel that can heal our broken heart…”
Intro to Chapter Four of Resilient Heart “The Angel of the Heart”
We can let this angel hold our illness for a time when it becomes too much for us to handle. Just by letting go and letting the angel hold your issues for a while you open up a space for healing to happen.
Resilient Heart and Resilient Heart Art available at Mystickcreekpublishing