Category Archives: Personal development

A Time to Incubate

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I believe there are times where it is important to share our stories authentically as ther unfold. It can be healing for the teller and the listener. You will know when that time is.

And other times when it is time to incubate and hold the new story tenderly. We don’t want outside influences when we are nurturing a new story.

For now, as I write my new story, I hold it in sacred space within my heart, as its midwife💚…while it incubates ❤️

I am at the end of the bridge between the old story and the new story just about to step into the new. The sacred space of new beginnings.

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, new beginnings, Personal development, Stories

Is There a Problem with Public Inquiry on Facebook.

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On Thursday I made this post on my Facebook page,

“I am questioning my choice to be authentic on social media and in my writing. Does it really matter, does it really have value, does it make a difference, does it just create distance and misunderstanding, does it just create a reason for people to judge, is it worth me being uncomfortable and courageous because it might help someone or is it best to keep my true experiences to myself?

Until I figure that out, this will be my last post for a while.

For clarity, this post isn’t about me want approval for anything. It is me questioning if there is value to being authentic in this medium and in my writing, which I put a lot of time and effort into,in hopes of inspiring and encouraging.

It has nothing to do with being authentic in my life in general.”

Here is my conclusion…so far…

I have chosen to be very open about the process I have been going through the last three years. I believed that if I could be vulnerable and authentic and share the good, bad an ugly it would be helpful to people to see that we can move through something traumatic and have a positive outcome. This took courage on my part. 

In retrospect I think I was wrong in thinking it would be helpful. 

Here is why…

It is messy when we are shifting consciousness. It looks like we don’t know what we are doing. It looks like we aren’t very evolved. It looks like we don’t understand. We look foolish and it looks like we need help. 

The truth is, true healing comes from going through the process and coming out of the mess transformed. We learn through our own discovery and through our inner process of finding the answer that is right for us. 

This public vulnerability, unfortunately, opens the field for others to want to fix you, help you feel better, give you advice, share techniques and solutions that might shift you, judge you, (which by the way can be felt in the field if you are sensitive) and whatever else people do when they feel uncomfortable. All of that is human nature. 

None of those things is helpful to any of us when we are in that space. I think what we are asking in sharing in a vulnerable way is a compassionate witness. We want to know that people are behind us as we move through a difficult experience. That by itself can help you keep going. None of us is doing our own process wrong. It’s all perfect. 

As we are shifting into a new frequency on the planet we are all learning a new language, new behaviors and new ways of interacting with the field. The ways that use to work, don’t work any more but it is what we know.  We are all on a learning curve and NO ONE is making the shift perfectly or gracefully. I know I am not. 

And so what I have learned is this kind of personal, vulnerable inquiry is better done in my blog, where things are in one place, and where there is cohesion, so if someone desired they could follow the thread to see how I got from A to Z. The problem with FB is you might see A, H and Q in not know the rest of the story. 

That’s what I know so far.

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, Just thoughts, Personal development

Illness as an Initiation

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In my experience, if you do the deep personal work that is revealed to you through serious illness you will discover something amazing within yourself.

You will discover your magnificence, your strength and tenacity and your love and commitment to yourself and your connection to the divine.

Illness is an initiation.

Many of us have important moments of transition in our lives, which we experience in our bodies, that can be understood as initiations into a new way of being. They are gateways in to a more authentic expression of self.

Each of these initiations holds powerful information and the possibility of transforming long held patterns that no longer serve us if you allow the sacred journey to unfold. If we are open and allow it to happen.

It is not for the faint of heart ❤️

I believe this type of initiation is a soul contact. It is not, as the New Age movement would have you believe, something created due to out of balance thinking. Believing that we created something with our thoughts, creates shame and leads us away from true self discovery. It causes us to bypass pain so we don’t have to feel it and cheats us out of self discovery.

I am in awe of myself for allowing my initiation to unfold. I am proud for not giving up on myself and for having the strength to keep going even when it took everything I had to do so. I am grateful that I was willing to dive deep, past any limiting beliefs systems, past fear, past the lost of important friends in my life, past any feelings of brokenness, past disappointment and frustration to discover the gems of my authentic self.

I have nothing but the upmost love and respect for any of my friends who have experienced this kind of initiation, are experiencing it right now or going through it with a partner.

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Filed under Empowered Health and Wellness, health and wellness, Personal development

Instant Manifestation

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A curious thing happened to me last night that got me thinking about manifestation.I have had similar experiences before.

When I was getting ready to go to sleep I was listening to music. My phone kept sending me messages that people where liking things on my Etsy site. I thought , “Yay, I am getting momentum!” A couple more notifications came and I actually said out loud to my cats, “Wouldn’t it be fun to hear a ‘Cha ching’”, the sound you hear when someone makes a purchase. It was a matter of seconds and I hear “ChaChing!” Someone had made a purchase.

It got me curious. My sense of playfulness and lack of attachment caused the instant manifestation. How could I make it that easy with the other things that I want to manifest. Ah, to be in that place of the child, where life is a playground, where I am just a curious, playful kid exploring, with no attachments and things that I want just pop into my reality.

I think these small manifestations show us that we can manifest the bigger things if we get into that same space. That is what alignment is, right?

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Filed under law of attraction, Personal development

A New Path Emerges out of Transformation Addiction

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Painting by Katelyn Mariah, Oil and Egg Tempera on panel. Ibiza, Spain 2015

“One of the most enduring metaphors for the spiritual path is the transformation of the lowly caterpillar into a butterfly.  Out of its own substance, the ground-hugging grub weaves the medium for its metamorphosis—the chrysalis within which it evolves into a beautiful creature with wings.  The human being undergoes an equally dramatic transformation, unfolding the path to liberation from within the depths of the soul and emerging, after great struggle, as an expression of divinity in the world.”

I say none of this from a place of judgment but from an understanding that it was all necessary…

I have been on a path of transformation and self-healing for 30 years.  It began with a near death experience that opened me up to wanting to know who I really was and why I am on the planet, so for me to say that path has ended is a big deal!  I woke up one morning and realized I have had enough transformation and self-healing, I am done. If what we focus on is what we create, I had become expert at creating opportunities to transform and heal. It no longer felt loving to continue to dissect my psyche.  Transformation had become an addiction and going through it and coming out on the other side transformed was exhilarating. I realized that by the very nature of focusing on this path I was manifesting all kinds of experiences where I could go through the process of transformation.  After all what we focus on becomes our reality.  

The word “transformation” became popular in the 1960’s and 1970’s and became trendy in the 1980’s and 1990’s.  The word meant a spiritual awakening, though it’s deeper meaning would only become known through experience. Ultimately the spiritual path is never pleasant or comfortable.  You are literally breaking down the social programming and resultant beliefs and behaviors by diving into the psyche and seeing the truth.  Often times the truth is not easy to look at.  There were many times where a transformational event was set off that left me in pain for days while I searched for the way back to equilibrium. The process of transformation is often messy and painful.  I imagine it is a lot like how the caterpillar feels as it turns into goop.

Transformation is a taking apart process, to discover the true self so you can live an authentic life.  It is a necessary process on this planet because of all the programming we have layered on our true self through the socialization process.  Don’t get me wrong when I say I am done.  I am not saying it is a bad thing to transform and heal.  I am saying it can become addictive, sending us leaping from transformational event to transformational event. leaving us feeling like there is always more to discover and change. We are constantly “working on ourselves” and that is not fun.  When this happens we are often saying to the Universe, “I am not good enough the way I am, I need to fix that.”  The addiction to transformation can be unloving and unkind.  Very few of us love ourselves through the process.

If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation. ― Jiddu Krishnamurti

If you are constantly diving deeply, being self reflective and trying to fix things in yourself it is exhausting.  It is also hard on your body, mind and spirit because you are lowering your vibration and raising it all of the time. 

The thing that lead me to the place of saying “I am done, I have had enough” was yet another, big, painful opportunity to heal my body.  I have learned a lot about myself through issues with my body.  I am not chronically ill, in fact I am very healthy but I have manifested some heavy duty issues with my body.  Using the healing and transformation process in my book  Empowered Health and Wellness: Awakening Your Inner Physician I was able to discover what my body/soul was trying to tell me.  It was actually in the discovery process that I realized I was done!  I wasn’t thrilled that I needed to do another process of healing an issue with my body.  The metaphor that arose through the process was that of metamorphosis.  It was the perfect metaphor to lead me to understand that I was done with this cycle of learning and I could close the door on the path of healing and transformation.  Out of my process rose the butterfly of love and compassion and the beginning of my new path.

“When the ego says, “I can’t do this any more: this way is not working and I am done,” the soul says ‘Good. You’ve gotten everything you could out of this level of awareness and now we are going to take what you have learned and transform it into something bigger than you ever imagined it could be while you were going through it.”

“Being done” can not be planned.  You can’t pick a date and say that is the day I will have enough.  Just like you can’t pull the caterpillar out of it’s chrysalis and find a butterfly, you can only be done, when you are done!  You will feel it in your bones.

It happened for me on November 5th, 2015.  I picked up my journal and wrote: “I am officially resigning as poster child for self-healing and transformation!  I have mastered the process of healing and transforming and I no longer have to hone that skill.  I trust my body to re-balance itself whenever it is out of balance.  I am no longer having self-healing and transformation as my focus and I am choosing the path of LOVE.”   My divine inner genius responded: “We are so pleased at this outcome.  In loving yourself, know that your path is right and perfect at all times and that there are no mistakes.  All events up to this point have been to get you here.”

Yes, those of us who have been doing our spiritual work for year, we have processed enough. We have gone down enough rabbit holes. We can learn and grow and evolve just as easy through love and joy and it is way more fun. We don’t have to dissect our psyche any longer. I am being called to live an authentic life from a place of love and compassion. Continuing to transform myself no longer feels like self love to me.

I know who I am, I don’t think there is a stone left to turn over.  I have faced all of my dragons and met all of my demons and mined a lot of gems and diamonds in the process. I love the person I have discovered, which is the person I always was but just couldn’t see.

Now what? I have no clue but honestly it feels fabulous. Authenticity, following my heart and love feels good for starters. (This is not to say these things haven’t been part of my path already ) 

I am still left with the work of healing the current physical issue but now that I have learned what I needed to learn from it, it is only a matter of time before my body catches up and returns to balance.

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Painting by Katelyn Mariah, Oil and Egg Tempera on panel. Ibiza, Spain 2015

The author, Katelyn Mariah is a visionary artist, author, conscious entrepreneur, and alchemist.  Learn more at www.embracingeudaimonia.com

Find her books at www,mystickcreekpublishing.com

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