Tag Archives: new beginnings

A Time to Incubate

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I believe there are times where it is important to share our stories authentically as ther unfold. It can be healing for the teller and the listener. You will know when that time is.

And other times when it is time to incubate and hold the new story tenderly. We don’t want outside influences when we are nurturing a new story.

For now, as I write my new story, I hold it in sacred space within my heart, as its midwifeūüíö…while it incubates ‚̧ԳŹ

I am at the end of the bridge between the old story and the new story just about to step into the new. The sacred space of new beginnings.

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, new beginnings, Personal development, Stories

Wow! What a Crazy Ride!

Ahhh…It has been ten months since I closed the door on my career of 26 years as a therapist and it has been an interesting journey of transformation and discovery for me.¬† I am not the same woman who walked away from a successful career ten months ago.

For many years I have had the mantra, “when I grow up I want to be 4 years old”.¬† It came from the fact that when I was four, life was grand.¬† It was easy, joyful, spontaneous and carefree.¬† I knew those were qualities I wanted to cultivate, but I also knew that it went deeper.

I wrote a blog about it called “When I Grow Up I Want to be Four”¬† which is an interesting read based on what we are energetically at four.¬† What I really wanted was to feel as I did when I was four but be able to use that energy from an empowered adult place.¬† The past 10 months have brought me closer to that desire.

In May of last year I created a level of prosperity that allowed me to close the door on the traditional J.O. B. One of the reasons that I wanted to create a level of prosperity which would make it possible for me to quit my job was so that I could do the things that I was passionate about, that had been put on the shelf for someday.

Silly me, I thought it would be a smooth, easy transition out the door of one way of life and into the door of a new one.  Wrong!  Here is where I ran into trouble.  I have been blessed with a lot of gifts and talents and I wanted to find a vehicle that would allow me to express all of them.  We are socialized to pick a talent and run with it and do that for the rest of our lives.  Ah, that seemed boring to me.  That is why I switched gears within my career so many times.  Staying in one place did not satisfy my restless heart.

The first couple of months I struggled with WHAT to do and because I couldn’t find the pretty package to dress it in, I did very little.¬† That is not entirely true.¬† I spent the last four years building the residual income business that provided me with the means to leave my job and I continued to work on that.¬† But I did little to move me forward to that “mission” I thought I was here to do.

For several months I pretty much gave up on the idea of finding the vehicle and did a lot of mindless things that had nothing to do with finding my purpose.  It was frustrating at the time but I know now that it was all purposeful because a lot was happening behind the scenes.  I was being shifted, changed and transformed in so many ways.

The last few months I have felt frustrated and invisible.¬† Upset because no one could see who I really was.¬† Everyone thought I was the women who “sold body wraps” and created a successful women’s networking group, but they didn’t really know who I was.¬† Why?¬† Because I was only showing that side of me.¬† Funny how that works!¬† It was the frustration of not being seen that pushed me to start showing myself.

Looking back I can see that I have been pregnant with myself all of these months and the process I have been experiencing has been a lot like pregnancy.  Not know what to do, getting frustrated, wanting to know, over eating, feeling exhausted and finally wanting to give birth to this thing!

At the nine month point in my “pregnancy” I felt a shift.¬† I started to feel that something was being born out of my process.¬† I began feeling a new energy around me.¬† One that is integrated, more focused and beginning to have direction.¬† I have been in that energy for about a month and I have the format for my purpose.¬† In fact…I am starting to feel like I am four again!

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Filed under Entrepreneurship, Just thoughts

tabula rasa

I feel like my life has returned to tabula rasa.  Now that I know I will not have to go to work I have been having this sense that there are unlimited possibilities for what I can do with my life.

Tabula Rasa is the Latin for “scraped tablet.” It is used¬†to represent¬†the clean slate that is supposed to be the mind of the newly born.¬† It is a blank canvas that sits before the artist before they begin to paint.

All the years that I have had a job had a way of blocking my sight from the possibilities.¬†By holding on to what I thought was security I have limited myself. ¬†I knew that anything was possible, but it seemed to be out in the future, out of my reach, because there just wasn’t enough time or energy to do it.¬† There is a book called “Do What you Love and the Money Will Follow” by Marsha Sinatar.¬†A part of me believed that philosopy and yet¬†I couldn’t trust it because it wasn’t the social programming I was fed as a child and young adult.¬†¬† I had to change my consciousness through unraveling my early programming, in order to embrace the idea that I can do what I love and money and support will be there.

In the past three years I have worked two jobs so I had less time to do what I love.  During that time, though, I have really been honing my manifestation and visualization skills.  When I started my own business the goal has always been to be able to quit my job and do what I love.  I always kept that goal in my mind, but the other things like travel, painting, writing and other fun things were out in the future.

Now, because I have opened the door to freedom and trust my self and the co-creative universe, I find myself imagining things as though they are already a part of my life.  I feel like I am at a smorgasbord and I can pick what brings me the most joy from all of the choices.  The difference between then and now is I feel like I am standing IN the field of possibilities instead of outside of it, imagining that it might exist.  I can feel a new life and a new me as though I am emerging from the cocoon of the past and becoming the authentic butterfly that I am.  Everything I have done to this point has fed the new dream, so I have know regrets.

When there are things that we have to do everyday we get stuck in a rut and create a routine.¬† The word “rut” and “routine” have a similar meaning.¬† A routine¬† is a¬†sequence of actions regularly followed or¬†a fixed program, where as a rut is¬†a sunken track, path¬†or groove made by the repetitive passage of vehicles or people on foot.¬† It can also mean a fixed, usually boring routine.

The challenge with starting a new life is not to start a new routine that becomes a rut.  Ruts are not expansive nor do they support dreaming, imagining or creating.  We fall into them because they give us a sense of safety and control.   Imagine what life would have been like if we were raised to believe that we had a clean slate each morning on which to create a new work of art.  What if we believed we could do what we love and the money would follow?

That is the concept I want to embrace in this new reality that I have created, because when we are open to all the possibilities we are magnetic and that magnetism can lead us to our joy and our prosperity.  Thinking about it that way makes me feel excited and jazzed to see what magic I can stir up for myself!

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Filed under Entrepreneurship, Law of attraction in business

Time to Blossom

“There comes a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom. ” Anais Nin

This has always been one of my favorite quotes because it so vividly speaks to opening to your true potential and how much energy it takes to hold back. It also speaks to what the world misses out on if we hold back and stay with the status quote.

This week I resigned from my current job as a therapist, putting to an end a career that spanned 25 years. I experienced therapy in many different venues, saw things I would never want to see again and witnessed other people blossom. I have grown and transformed myself in the process.

I have arrived at the place where it takes a lot more effort to hold back than it does to risk blossoming. The interesting thing is, I have come back to a place that I left behind 25 years ago, when I had my own business as an artist and I was able to create every day. I let it go out of necessity when I got divorce and had to raise two children alone. Getting a real job seemed like the only way to make that work, because I was programmed to believe that being an artist would never make me any money.

Art and creative express feed me and over the years I have found ways to paint and write even though I was working but I stopped painting completely 5 or 6 years ago when I decided to start a business that could bring me to the place I am today. I had to let go of my creative process to have the energy to work my job as a therapist and do what it takes to build a business that would support me to eventually quit my job.

That has been a double edged sword because when I am creative, I am also magnetic and alive and when I am not creative something in my energy is missing. I know that if I could have found a way to be creative and continue to paint, my business would have grown faster too. Being in joy is always more magnetic and attractive.

I had a spiritual mentor who used to say ” Exits are just as important as entrances and the way you exit a space is how you will enter the next one.”¬†¬† What she meant was that it is important to pay attention to how you exit¬†one place because you will carry that energy into the next place you enter.¬† If¬†you exit in a conscious way¬†you will enter the next adventure in a conscious way.

I have been overwhelmed by people’s response at work,¬†as they find out I am leaving, from begging me to stay, saying they love me and shock and sadness.¬† We forget that we have an¬†impact on¬†people, at least I do.¬† I was dreading giving my notice because of some of the experiences I have had in the past when I have. The last job I left was a very negative experience and it was still in my psyche two years later so when it became apparent that I would be missed I was mystified.¬† I am 100% sure this is what I should do but it comes with a sense of loss because this has been the most nurturing and¬†supportive environment I have worked in.¬† So if exits protend how entrances will be, I am entering into something not only¬†exciting but also a phase that is very much aligned with who I am.

I can’t hold back any longer.It is time for something new to blossom in my life.¬†I feel something right out in front of me that is calling to me and I am excited to follow the call.

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Filed under Just thoughts