Once the Beauty Distortion takes hold it keeps you in its grips until you discover it and do something to change it. Often it is held in place by other distortions and becomes a sticky web. Getting to the bottom of it can be tricky but it is work you must be willing to do if you want to be free.
For me and probably many other woman, the distortion happened as a teenager when developmentally we craved acceptance. We wanted to fit in and have our peers, especially boys, find us attractive. Girls wanted boyfriends and boys wanted girlfriends and the most popular people were the ones who had the guy or the girl. It seemed to me it was the first who were pretty that got the guy. Who can blame a guy for that!
The general consensus at my house was I was fat and ugly and even though that wasn’t true I heard it often enough to believe it was true. In my mind there wasn’t any hope for me unless I change how I looked. I even made my parents send me to “Charm School” and if you read that story you will see, that didn’t work either!
Up until I began my teens I was a Tomboy. I was popular with the boys because I could climb trees, catch frogs, snakes and turtles with my bare hands, build go carts and build forts in the woods. I was one of the boys and I was unafraid. As soon as we hit our teens that wasn’t what boys were looking for from girls. It was confusing for me when their attention changed. At the same time I was being programmed to believe I wasn’t attractive.
The program went on autopilot in my psyche and through years of inner work I unraveled a lot of it. If you read my post yesterday you will remember that my feeling of not being pretty enough came up over the weekend. The timing was perfect because this distortion needs to go.
This morning when I was thinking about this issue I saw clearly how it didn’t make sense. I thought about all the men I had been in relationships with over the years. I know how it works for men. The physical attraction is the initial draw. Which means they were attracted to my beauty first, they weren’t attracted to me because I was “fat and ugly”! With that in mind, this distortion doesn’t even make sense!
The fact is, I have attracted an amazing, wonderful, beautiful, heart centered man in my life right now , who loves me and I am positive his initial attraction to me was because of my beauty, not because I am physically unattractive, so this crazy belief ve doesn’t work at all!
Like I said at the beginning, these distortions work on autopilot, and control us unconsciously, until we start unwrapping them!
It’s time to let this crazy shit go!