Monthly Archives: July 2019

The Initiation

“As most of you know, psyche is the Greek word for soul. It’s also the Greek word for butterfly. If you have a protagonist in a story whose name is Psyche, you might expect that she will go through a major transition and crisis. Will she survive it? Will she come through and be transformed, or will she die? That’s one way of looking at the Psyche myth.”

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I painted the image at the top in November 2015 in Ibiza, Spain. What I knew at the time was it was a painting of Psyche floating on the River Styx. What I didn’t know was it was an announcement to me that I was about to begin an initiation that would last almost 4 years! I was about to enter the underworld. In the painting she is going towards something in the past.

Four months later I had the first in a series of heart attacks that lead to open heart surgery.

Just like Psyche I would be faced with challenges, I would be fearful and I would find the resources and helpers to get through each challenge.

The image below taken in another boat. Part of my spiritual lineage is Egyptian. What I know about this painting is that the heart is healed and it is in a boat moving forward in life. It was painted on an eclipse where the masculine and feminine energy is in balance. Much of my initiation and healing has been about balancing the inner masculine and feminine.

I also understand from this image that when two hearts come together in love, a shared heart is created that is greater than both of you.

This is a much deeper story but my intention here is to show the before and after paintings.  I can always trust the vision in my art. It is predictive.m

 

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Persistence!

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Right before I woke up I was thinking about how persistent I am and how we need to encourage people not to give up.

Persistence is one of my super powers.

There isn’t one giant step that leads to creating what we desire, it’s a series of small steps, taken until you arrive.

I make it look easy to create miraculous and magical experiences and sometimes it is but it really isn’t most of the time. Yes, somethings manifest easily but usually there are steps involved. My participation is required and it takes a lot for me to give up.

I think asking and believing something is possible helps us take the necessary steps to get us there.

As long as I can see possibilities I keep going. I know when it is time to change course.

I ask for the miracle and then I do my part, which is to listen to my heart and take the steps. It’s a combination of persistence and letting go. Otherwise persistence can turn into resistance.

Some times that means being lead to a nutrition supplement that will support me. Sometimes it calls for a series of paintings. Sometimes a walk in the forest everyday. Sometimes a change in my eating. Sometimes it means doing nothing and trusting the outcome. Sometimes it is about calming down my stress so I can heal. It always includes a deep connection to my heart and Inner guidance system and daily conversation with it in my journal. Sometimes it is a combination of a lot of steps and modalities I have learned over the years.

The point is to, put it out there, hold the vision and participate in bringing it into reality how ever you are guided by your heart to do that.

Don’t give up, believe in the possibilities and listen to your heart.

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Believe in Miracles!

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I had to share! Miracles happen💫

I was supposed to have oral surgery today. I am so phobic about the dentist so my anxiety was extremely high this morning. And while I was waiting for the dentist I thought about leaving a couple of times.

They were going to cut open my gums and do a procedure to clear an infection. I went out last night and stocked up on soft foods.

A couple of weeks ago in meditation I asked for a miracle. I asked that the issue healed so I wouldn’t have to have surgery. I was given a special technology to work with. The message I received was that the doctor would change his mind about what he would be doing because I wouldn’t need surgery.

The dentist came in and looked at my teeth and said, so we are going to pull that tooth. I have a tooth that is loose that needs to be pulled. I said what about that fistula on the other tooth that you were going to do surgery on? He looked again and looked at my records and said, “you’re right there was a fistula on the other side, but it’s gone now.” I asked if that ever happens and he said it’s rare.

I went to the waiting room with tears in my eyes and told my daughter about asking for a miracle and not needing surgery. She was there as my driver because I wasn’t supposed to drive afterwards.

I drive her crazy with my miracles! She said now you will think you can heal anything. I said yep, the tumor is next!!!

Tears of gratitude!

 

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What if Illness and Lack were your Greatest Teacher for Prosperity?

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Just by its nature, illness puts you in a state of lack. It creates exhaustion, loss of health, loss of income, pain, fear and grief. Serious illness threatens your life on all levels, especially if it is long term.  You can not create health and abundance from this state of consciousness and more likely you continue to create more of the same.

Part of healing is pulling yourself out of this state of mind. Many people don’t have the tools or inner resources to do this and often end up living in this place of lack.

Imagine if illness and the subsequent financial difficulties that often follow came into your life to teach you how to be healthy and abundant and you needed to be a willing student in order to learn. Easier said than done, right? You are sick, exhausted and broke for God’s sake! I get it because that has been my journey for the last 3 1/2 years. It’s easy to find lack because it is always in your face, in the pain, the doctor visits, exhaustion, fear, unpaid bills and the phone calls from bill collectors you get every day.  Those things constantly pull at you.

Before I had the first of five heart attacks and open heart surgery, I believed I was prosperous and healthy and I was on the physical level. I didn’t have credit card debt, I was making $8000-$10,000 per month, I could travel, bills were paid on time, I could give money to people in need and physically I felt great.  But a true state of prosperity and health is an inner state of mind that has nothing to do with the external world or having money. From an inner state of health and wellness we attract everything we need.

That was where I was still out of balance and had things to learn. My path was one of cultivating a prosperous heart. In order to do that and to see and discover what was out of balance I needed to experience extremes and as an added twist I needed to do it alone rather than having a partner to support me.

I realized from the beginning that I was being asked to be the student of this powerful teacher. I am not saying I was always willing and that there wasn’t screaming, crying and bashing of teeth, yet I learned so much about who I truly am by having my world turned inside out! Illness has been a formidable teacher.

Now I end my day with a question that you might want to try too. How was I prosperous today? From there I look back on my day thinking about how I was gifted with health, financial abundance, love and joyful experience and feel grateful.

You can pull yourself out of lack consciousness after serious illness. I am not saying it is easy. I am saying with a commitment to living a new state of consciousness from what you are currently experiencing and baby steps and self compassion you can do it!

 

 

 

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A Calm Heart

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Progress report!
Supplement plus inner work.

I wanted to make sure this wasn’t a just fluke before I posted this.

I am super excited about this!!!

Ever since the first heart attack 3 1/2 years ago I could feel my heart beating in my chest all of the time. I am not saying I would put my hand over my heart and feel it beating. I didn’t have to do that. It was beating so that I could feel it without touching my chest.

It wasn’t because I was stressed out. It was when My bpm was normal 60-70 BPM. When I was stressed out it was 5 times as strong like it was going to jump out of my chest. Sometimes it was hard to go to sleep because I could feel it in the front and the back. It was pounding with a normal heart rate as if it wanted my constant attention. It wanted me to see something.

I don’t know if other people feel their heart beat like this, but I never did. It did it’s thing and I didn’t pay attention because I couldn’t feel it.

I did some deep emotional clearing on the solar eclipse and I started the second week of the supplement I am taking.

Yesterday I woke up and my heart wasn’t beating like it has for 3 1/2 years. I can’t feel it. It sounds weird to say I am excited that I can’t feel my heart beating , but I am. It blows me away, actually.

My heart feels quiet and peaceful. It feels like it is beating to a new joyful frequency. I feel this unexplainable joy frequency in my body.

I see this as huge progress toward the wellness I am moving toward. I have seen what my heart wanted me to see and now it has settled down. Maybe it is telling me the tumor is gone. Time will tell. With a joyful, peaceful heart, healing is probable ❤️

I have an amazing heart. No doubt about it!

PS…I am curious if other people feel there heart beat all of the time?

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