I have been home for three days. It has been a month since the traumatic event and the heart attack. I don’t feel afraid to be in my own home anymore and I am not afraid to go to sleep. I don’t feel shame or embarrassment for renting to someone I didn’t know. I am not mad at myself like I was or nor am I judging myself. ( these are common feelings people who experience trauma feel. Victim shaming doesn’t help)
All of that is gone, not just because I got to hang out at the ocean for 2+weeks but because I did the personal work I needed to do around this incident to be whole again. I had to feel the feelings, listen to them and let them go, so I could move to compassion, forgiveness and self love.
“Listen to your heart” has been one of the underlying messages through each heart event I have experienced. I didn’t listen to my heart this time and ultimately my heart had to show me again.
I didn’t want to rent space in my house, I decided that long ago. I responded out of pressure and fear and overrode my heart. I needed money and this seemed like a win win situation. But I bypassed my heart to do it.
I can’t respond from a place of financial fear and bypass my heart because of money. Even if I feel like I am backed in a corner, like I did. I can’t do it. Anymore…ever.
Responding from fear closes down the flow of prosperity, it doesn’t open the flow like we want it to.
When I am in my heart, knowing I am taken care of, money and resources flow…every time.