Monthly Archives: March 2019

Giving up was not an option

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I am writing this to remind myself…

There was a point in my health journey where I had not only lost my health but also my savings and my livelihood. It was about 8 months in that my savings was gone, my successful career was gone and all of my credit cards were maxed out from basic living and medical bills. This was probably the most stressful time in my life.

But something kept pulling me forward. The pull was my purpose. My purpose this lifetime has always been to create art that had a positive, transformational impact. Writing, which is part of that purpose came later. I write from the same place as I paint.

This is to say that when I was at my lowest lows, I still could paint and I still could write and those two things pulled me through. I could also see there would be a time when I could fully live my purpose again. That what I was going through had meaning in this purpose and I wasn’t intended to die from it.

And so I painted…and I wrote…32 paintings focused on the heart and several other paintings. I wrote and illustrated a children’s book. I wrote Resilient Heart a book all about heart health and my journey. I wrote Resilient Heart Art, the healing power of art. I built an Etsy site and two new websites for my art and writing. I created a festival for artists and writers to combine my to loves. All while I was sick. Those things pulled me through my illness and kept me focused on my purpose.

I was grateful for each positive step forward no matter how small.

So now getting 4 shows for my art in 3 days tells me my focus paid off. Getting the feed back from curators that they are touched by my art means a lot. It shows me I have built momentum. I am in a place of joy because my physical crisis is finally over and I am in the flow of the vision I held for the past 3 years.

I am sharing this not to brag but to give someone, somewhere hope. No matter what happens hold on to your dream. Let it lift you up and maybe out of where you are right now.

Today I thank myself for not giving up.

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Filed under health and wellness, heart Health, Personal development, Resilient Heart

Third Anniversary of Heart Attack

 

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Three years ago today, on the Equinox, I had the first of three heart attacks, that resulted in my having open heart surgery.  This first heart attack lead me on an amazing journey home to my heart. I painted this painting to celebrate the anniversary and my healthy ❤️

Early in the morning, three years ago, I had a dream that was a sacred ceremony in which the six pointed star was placed in my heart and the Vesica Pisces was placed in my womb. Both of these are symbols of balancing the Masculine and Feminine energies. So is the Equinox. I woke up knowing something powerful had just happened. That evening I had the heart attack.

I was blindsided. Soul contracts are like that!

That began a 2 1/2 year journey of self discovery, where I found out what I was capable of doing under extreme pressure. It showed me what I was truly made of and that I could endure the worst and become my best. It showed me my mortality and highlighted my desire to live❤️

This journey brought me back to my heart, which is the source of my wisdom. I know what my heart desires and what it doesn’t. It brought me back to my purpose, which is to share my love and deep wisdom through my art and I am committed and dedicated to that purpose now more than ever. No more distractions.

My heart is open. It is tender, sensitive and knowing as well as strong, wise and healthy. I am at home in my heart.

Thank you for witnessing my process, loving me through it, shoring me up when I needed it and showing me the importance of surrounding yourself with a community of care.

Sharing this journey was the most vulnerable thing I have done and not easy, but it felt important.

That chapter is done and I am onto a new chapter.

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Filed under A wakening consciousness, Awakening The Inner Physician, heart Health, Resilient Heart, Uncategorized