On Thursday I made this post on my Facebook page,
“I am questioning my choice to be authentic on social media and in my writing. Does it really matter, does it really have value, does it make a difference, does it just create distance and misunderstanding, does it just create a reason for people to judge, is it worth me being uncomfortable and courageous because it might help someone or is it best to keep my true experiences to myself?
Until I figure that out, this will be my last post for a while.
For clarity, this post isn’t about me want approval for anything. It is me questioning if there is value to being authentic in this medium and in my writing, which I put a lot of time and effort into,in hopes of inspiring and encouraging.
It has nothing to do with being authentic in my life in general.”
Here is my conclusion…so far…
I have chosen to be very open about the process I have been going through the last three years. I believed that if I could be vulnerable and authentic and share the good, bad an ugly it would be helpful to people to see that we can move through something traumatic and have a positive outcome. This took courage on my part.
In retrospect I think I was wrong in thinking it would be helpful.
Here is why…
It is messy when we are shifting consciousness. It looks like we don’t know what we are doing. It looks like we aren’t very evolved. It looks like we don’t understand. We look foolish and it looks like we need help.
The truth is, true healing comes from going through the process and coming out of the mess transformed. We learn through our own discovery and through our inner process of finding the answer that is right for us.
This public vulnerability, unfortunately, opens the field for others to want to fix you, help you feel better, give you advice, share techniques and solutions that might shift you, judge you, (which by the way can be felt in the field if you are sensitive) and whatever else people do when they feel uncomfortable. All of that is human nature.
None of those things is helpful to any of us when we are in that space. I think what we are asking in sharing in a vulnerable way is a compassionate witness. We want to know that people are behind us as we move through a difficult experience. That by itself can help you keep going. None of us is doing our own process wrong. It’s all perfect.
As we are shifting into a new frequency on the planet we are all learning a new language, new behaviors and new ways of interacting with the field. The ways that use to work, don’t work any more but it is what we know. We are all on a learning curve and NO ONE is making the shift perfectly or gracefully. I know I am not.
And so what I have learned is this kind of personal, vulnerable inquiry is better done in my blog, where things are in one place, and where there is cohesion, so if someone desired they could follow the thread to see how I got from A to Z. The problem with FB is you might see A, H and Q in not know the rest of the story.
That’s what I know so far.