Wow! What a Crazy Ride!

Ahhh…It has been ten months since I closed the door on my career of 26 years as a therapist and it has been an interesting journey of transformation and discovery for me.  I am not the same woman who walked away from a successful career ten months ago.

For many years I have had the mantra, “when I grow up I want to be 4 years old”.  It came from the fact that when I was four, life was grand.  It was easy, joyful, spontaneous and carefree.  I knew those were qualities I wanted to cultivate, but I also knew that it went deeper.

I wrote a blog about it called “When I Grow Up I Want to be Four”  which is an interesting read based on what we are energetically at four.  What I really wanted was to feel as I did when I was four but be able to use that energy from an empowered adult place.  The past 10 months have brought me closer to that desire.

In May of last year I created a level of prosperity that allowed me to close the door on the traditional J.O. B. One of the reasons that I wanted to create a level of prosperity which would make it possible for me to quit my job was so that I could do the things that I was passionate about, that had been put on the shelf for someday.

Silly me, I thought it would be a smooth, easy transition out the door of one way of life and into the door of a new one.  Wrong!  Here is where I ran into trouble.  I have been blessed with a lot of gifts and talents and I wanted to find a vehicle that would allow me to express all of them.  We are socialized to pick a talent and run with it and do that for the rest of our lives.  Ah, that seemed boring to me.  That is why I switched gears within my career so many times.  Staying in one place did not satisfy my restless heart.

The first couple of months I struggled with WHAT to do and because I couldn’t find the pretty package to dress it in, I did very little.  That is not entirely true.  I spent the last four years building the residual income business that provided me with the means to leave my job and I continued to work on that.  But I did little to move me forward to that “mission” I thought I was here to do.

For several months I pretty much gave up on the idea of finding the vehicle and did a lot of mindless things that had nothing to do with finding my purpose.  It was frustrating at the time but I know now that it was all purposeful because a lot was happening behind the scenes.  I was being shifted, changed and transformed in so many ways.

The last few months I have felt frustrated and invisible.  Upset because no one could see who I really was.  Everyone thought I was the women who “sold body wraps” and created a successful women’s networking group, but they didn’t really know who I was.  Why?  Because I was only showing that side of me.  Funny how that works!  It was the frustration of not being seen that pushed me to start showing myself.

Looking back I can see that I have been pregnant with myself all of these months and the process I have been experiencing has been a lot like pregnancy.  Not know what to do, getting frustrated, wanting to know, over eating, feeling exhausted and finally wanting to give birth to this thing!

At the nine month point in my “pregnancy” I felt a shift.  I started to feel that something was being born out of my process.  I began feeling a new energy around me.  One that is integrated, more focused and beginning to have direction.  I have been in that energy for about a month and I have the format for my purpose.  In fact…I am starting to feel like I am four again!


Filed under Entrepreneurship, Just thoughts

30 responses to “Wow! What a Crazy Ride!

  1. The image above is from the postcard I created to introduce my new venture.

  2. ptanji

    Wow Katelyn! Thank you for your honesty and authenticity. I think we all know that we are human beings and not human doings….but our culture is so conditioned to categorize us in order to make sense of it all. I am also rediscovering who I am….and it is thrilling! I have had the honor of watching talented musicians and artists ‘put it out there’ this past year so I’m stealing a page from their play book. Suspend judgement, fear, and cynicism…..and fly! Well done!

    • Thanks Patty, It is hard to understand what this process is like unless you experience it, that is why I try to write from my authentic voice. Becoming all that you can be is pretty thrilling, indeed!

  3. Lisa Coody

    Wow I’m impressed! I can so relate and am glad to hear that you have found you!

  4. sllyrobert

    Hi Katelyn!! Nice to meet with you! Your shared article is very enjoyable and has a good time reading such publish. I highly appreciate you for being honest. Thanks

    • Thanks for reading Robert. My goal with this blog is to explore the rewards and the challenges of being an entrepreneur which means being honest and open. A lot of writers only talk about success when in reality there is success and challenge in any business.

  5. Katelyn thank you for being refreshingly honest with yourself and us. It’s hard to admit when we’re frustrated or not feeling like our full selves. Can’t wait to see what the next months hold for you!

  6. I’ve been going through a similar process after leaving a job to try to create a life from my passions, and I have been feeling that frustration of not knowing how to package it or show it to the world because I’m still not clear on what it will look like yet. I really love the analogy you draw to this time being like a pregnancy. That is very much what I have been experiencing, and it helps me to have greater patience with this process when it seems so slow. Thank you!

    • Kenetha, one thing I didn’t talk about in the blog was the sense of expectancy I have been feeling the last several weeks, which goes right along with the how pregnancy feeling. The expectancy of what is unfolding is exciting!

  7. I love the fact that you are starting to feel four again! I vividly recall the time right after I left my responsible “grown up” job and started intuitive counseling full time-it was scary, magical, and full of possibility. Now I can’t imagine why it took me so long 🙂

    • I agree Bri, why did it take so long!!! I wish I would have been in this space several years ago. Actually I did quit my career two other times but I didn’t have the financial piece in place so my “retirement” didn’t last.

  8. Katelyn~ thank you for sharing this. I firmly believe that starting a business is very much like birthing a child and I love that you use that analogy. Using that 4-year old energy in empowered ways that serve your people is a priceless gift! I’m so glad to have “found” you!! xoxo.nona

  9. I love the idea of growing up to be four. Have you heard of Michelle Ward? She calls herself the “When I Grow Up Coach” and she is amazeballs at helping people figure out who and what they want to be. I think when I grow up I want to be 15 – which for me was an innocent space of miracles and eccentricity and joy and friendships. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m excited to witness the places we’ll go as we journey back to our younger, more intuitive selves. 🙂

  10. I love it!!! You gave birth at the age of four!! Now that might stir up some comments : ) I too believe the world should been encountered with childlike wonder, astonishment and honest excitement. That’s why I can say with childlike authority, when I grow up I want to be a ‘Happiness Instigator’. And so I am. Congrats on the birth!!!!

  11. I’ve been a therapist for 25 years and can imagine what a huge identity shift it must have been for you to walk away.. so brave. Love that you were so clear on exactly what you wanted to create and that the energy shifted right around the 9th month of’re youthening!
    Love and blessings,
    Simple Sacred Solutions To Living Beautifully In Your Body

    • Hi Lisa, gosh we must have started around the same time. It was a huge identity shift! I was use to telling people I was a therapist when someone asked what I did for a living. After I left I wasn’t sure exactly how to respond. I look and feel much younger so you are right, I am youthening! Thanks for reading

  12. I love the analogy of being pregnant with yourself, of suffering threw the changes of groth and transformation and the waiting, waiting, waiting. I’ve felt like this so often with projects I work on and it’s hard to be patient and understanding with yourself; but viewing that everything has a time and can’t be rushed is ver helpful. My friend describes things as having birthing pains when they are coming into the world, your post makes that even clearer to me now.

  13. What a great story. The realization that you were only showing a few facets of the real you is a powerful reminder….share YOU, all of YOU. It’s easier said than done, yes? And a goal for us to strive toward.

  14. I love four year olds and think that is a GRAND aspiration. It’s good to hear that you are feeling that spirit and energy again. Trying on things that don’t fit is exhausting. Hoorah for finding your way again.

  15. I feel like I am currently going thru a similar ride with my personal life! Just when I think I am thru with a struggle, another one pops up. I realize that I am doing something to attract these situations into my life, and that there are lessons to be learned, but it’s still frustrating! I just want to birth that child and move on 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story with us!

  16. I have to say that t sounds like we’re living the same life. I can’t wait to give birth either! I’m rooting for you! (And for me!) Rock on, Sister!

  17. Great post – and I can’t wait to skip over and read the other, about growing up to be four! My son just turned 5, so I’m well acquainted with the energy of 4-year olds. It’s amazing how many grown ups will look at kids his age and say, “oh, if only I had that energy…if we could just bottle that…” But so few of us are truly inspired to DO anything about that feeling. So, kudos to you on finding that within yourself and having the guts to pursue it. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

  18. I love your story!!
    I can relate to not feeling seen. I went through a period time when I was struggling to be seen and it took a lot of courage to learn to bring all myself to the party….vulnerabilities and all.

    Life is so much beet now!!

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